How I discovered my window to peace.

Where many women struggle to say no and take on to much. I’ve struggled to say yes out of fear of taking on more than I can bear.

Becoming overwhelmed and out of control is still my biggest fear. Because of that, I have a wave of emotions that flow within me every time I consider taking on a task, project, or adding something to my plate. I’m constantly searching for my path of least resistance.

I have a history of tapping out quickly when I’ve felt like I was becoming the ‘out of control’ version of myself. I know what it’s like to become filled with debilitating anxiety or just stuck out of fear of losing control.

My overarching fear is losing control of my mind.

From a very young age, losing my mind was presented as my possible reality. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was around 9 or 10 years old. Due to our previous family history, my sister and I were warned that our mom’s mental disorder was hereditary and that we could show signs anywhere between our teens and our 30s. We were also informed that stressful or emotional life events could trigger a psychotic break.

Needless to say, I thought I was losing my mind at the age of 19 when I began suffering from intense anxiety and major depression. Becoming a prisoner of my own mind was appearing to be my greatest fear coming true. However, it turned out to be Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), a hormonal mood disorder that I’ve been battling for the past 20 years.

Throughout college, I self-medicated. Yes, I was a “pot-head”. But once I became a nurse, that crutch was no longer an option (not that it was legal in those days anyway, shhh). However, I was still smoking cigarettes and had become more frequent in my drinking than I had in my past. Besides that, for the first 10 out of those 20 years, I thought controlling my situations was the answer to my peaceful mind, until I tried to enter onto my maternal journey.

My “perfect” future began crumbling around me, my vision fading before my very eyes. I felt out of control when 3 doctors told us we would never conceive naturally. I felt like God was playing a sick joke, impregnating me with this passion to support women in labor. All the while, I was being sentenced to witness others experience an experience I may never have.

In the past, my efforts and strategic planning resulted in my moving forward on “my life path” with success. I finished college, passed my boards, got the job I wanted, moved where I wanted, got married to who I wanted. But then, the “meconium” (sh*t) hit the fan, as a doctor, I used to work with says.

I spent the first year of infertility depressed, angry, and mentally exhausted. I felt hopeless, stuck in an undesirable reality and I didn’t have the ability to change the outcome. PMDD didn’t help the situation. I remember going to my manager and telling her I could no longer work in this specialty. But when she asked me what area of nursing I wanted to move into, I had no ideas.

God’s twisted plan had me trapped, I thought. I’d originally only even became a nurse to become a midwife. I’d been obsessed with maternity since the moment I saw Dr. Huxtable on the Crosby show teaching pregnant women at the local community center. But being raised by a pastor, I knew I had to let go of the thought that the Divine was working against me. I knew that I had to believe that all things were working out for my good. I was aware that I needed to have faith that this portion of my journey was just designed to be an exciting part of my story, that would end with me sharing the results of my great blessing and favor. It turns out, the journey itself was my peaceful blessing.

It became clear that my control was not in how soon or even if I’d become pregnant. I discovered that in order to replace depression, doubt, and fear with hope and inner peace, I had to find windows of opportunity that would allow me to keep moving forward. Otherwise, I would not only become trapped in my head but I could get trapped in my emotions. I became focused on being able to handle the experience, as opposed to preparing to control it.

Wanting to start a family and being told that it was impossible led to my praying, hoping, and wishing for the impossible. I realized that I was asking for a miracle, which meant it wasn’t up to me. I told myself, that when asking for a miracle pregnancy, it could happen at any time. I imagined that I’d be like those women on I didn’t know I was pregnant”. So, I needed to be ready and stay prepared by keeping my body and mind in a state of peace. I wanted my womb to be serene and welcoming for my unborn child. Most importantly, I wanted to know that if I was blessed with a pregnancy, my stress, smoking, and alcohol consumption would not be the reason I lost it.

I began reaching for any form of motivation and comfort that would help me keep my hope and peace alive. I began to look at women in labor through new eyes. I saw their fight to release tension during the middle of a contraction as my fight to surrender my plan to the Great Divine. I watched their struggle to relax throughout the process of labor as my struggle to release control. I let their stance, motions, and breathing become the tools I used to ride the waves of my sadness, doubt, and fear.

There were times when I fumbled. Like when a fellow nurse found me on the floor of a clean utility room, balling my eyes out filled with so much hurt and pain. It was very hard watching and helping others birth their dreams into reality. But I learned to give myself grace as I discovered more and more about myself and my process. I learned what I needed to balance the emotional sensations that filled my body and the thoughts that overpowered my mind.

Over the years, I’ve seen the patterns between what is taught during natural childbirth classes and what is preached in all of the self-help books, from neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and by the motivational speakers I’d binged on to get me through.  My journey taught me the importance of self-awareness, mindfulness, and emotional intelligence.  As I continue to learn more about myself, I learn about the patterns in humanity, the Uninverse, and how I’m connected to everything and everything is connected to me.

I realized that my fear of becoming trapped in my mind is more about becoming trapped in my experience.

I discovered that what I feared, was that if I became trapped in my experience, I wouldn’t be able to endure the stress and pain. If I couldn’t endure the stress and pain, I’d be overwhelmed by the suffering.  Then, I wouldn’t be able to give anything to anyone, most importantly myself.

Through that experience and more, I’ve learned that triggering peace quickly so that I can open up that window of opportunity provides me with just enough space in a moment to take one step towards my yes, one step toward my freedom. And I’ve helped other women do the same over and over, through one contraction after another, in the labor room and in life.

It’s because of the hundreds and hundreds of women who allowed me to be apart of their birth story that I became aware of the power of feminine instincts and spiritual intuition. It’s because of them I came up with a theory…

“The maternal journey is our pathway to spiritual growth.”

I realized that in each struggle, within labor or life, the biggest struggle is redirecting our minds and overcoming the physical sensations we experience. Contractions of life will continue to come and go but if we can learn to refocus long enough to open that window to peace, we can keep moving forward. With work, that window can remain open for longer periods of time.  I have to continually redirect my mind from depression during the months PMDD tries to take over. I had to redirect my mind away from shame when acne was causing me to tilt my head down to hide my face and when over 240 pounds threatened to shut the best parts of me in. I realized, that we can’t control the labors of life and we can’t eliminate the contractions. We can only control how we ride the waves and experience the experience.

Now, when I create a plan, the interventions must include a way to prepare me to be in a state of inner peace, mental and physical balance as I work towards fulfilling my goal. So, when I or another woman find ourselves feeling stuck, spiraling, or out of control, I focus on the natural process of labor, the series of actions, or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end. I work to discover and review the personal process, the series of actions or steps one uses to experience peace, and present peaceful power. I’ve realized that if I can figure out the route that was taken to end up where I am or she is. I can figure out how to reroute or reorganize the steps and develop a personal power plan to move forward. We all need to discover how to manifest our window of peace. Because when that window is open, it’s easier to move forward to a new, more desirable, divinely orchestrated destination, and place of Peaceful Power.

How can the maternal journey contribute to a woman’s evolution of self?


So my Peaceful Women,

I can only answer for me.  Tomorrow is the official anniversary of my maternal journey. 2020-09-01T14_11_09.444Z copy

Yep, tomorrow my son turns 2 whole handfuls of fingers…(idk if that makes sense, but you understand).

It hit me last year that each year he celebrates his life, I should reflect and celebrate my own.

Although tomorrow we celebrate his birth, I too get to celebrate the birth of me.

From his conception, he changed me.

To be honest, I was changed through the season of our infertility, for that is when he was conceived in my mind.

He altered my internal balance the moment the thought of him penetrated my heart.

However, it was the journey to having him, through birthing him, and continually raising him that leads to my birthing more from the peaceful motive of my soul.

image (1)My son’s very existence has blessed me with a spirit of intention, the discipline of self-reflection, and a goal for enhanced spiritual growth.

In loving him, I continue to learn to love more of me.

Because, when I gaze at him I see the creation of God’s capability, the complexity of human nature, and the connection we all have to the Universe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL VIRGOS and to all you Mother’s of beautiful Virgo souls.

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What is self-care?

Self-care is a hot topic in this season of life.  Everyone seems to recognize they need it and want it but many aren’t sure what it means or how to do it.  The keyword within this compound word is care.



  1. the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.
  2. serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.


  1. feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.
  2. look after and provide for the needs of.

Self-care activities are actions taken for your personal health, welfare, maintenance, and protection.


About 3 years ago I equated self-care as getting a massage, pedicure, facial, or indulging in my candlelit bubble baths (even during my son’s 2 pm naptime).  Although I still love those things and my long hot morning shower still gives me life, I now define self-care as my personal quality assurance measures.  

quality assurance-


the maintenance of a desired level of quality in a service or product, especially by means of attention to every stage of the process of delivery or production.

I started to think of myself as a product of a higher power.  Having that in mind, I began to view myself as a vessel created to provide a particular service to a prechosen market.  Me being me, I wanted the level of quality of my services to not only meet the consumers’ demand but my manufacturer’s expectations. 

Personal Quality

We don’t know the role we’re called to play in every situation, interaction, or divine moment. But, we do know that we have to be ready and stay ready to be used.

Labors of life can come like a thief in the night.

We are in the best position to birth the best version of ourselves when we have completed the actions that help us maintain our optimal level of energy, peace, and mind-body balance.

Self-awareness comes when we’re able to self-assess ourselves. 

Reflective Questioning

As a nurse, I create care plans, as a doula and childbirth educator, I develop birth plans.  And throughout my time caring for an individual, I’m required to constantly assess to decide if what we’re doing is helping, harming, or wasting time.  Assessing helps us identify discrepancies and if found, we revise the plan.  The point is, don’t just look after and provide for the needs of our patients, we make plans to give serious attention or consideration to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.  We don’t just wing it.   If you think about it, the same model exists in business.  They create policies, procedures, and quality assurance plans.  Creating a plan provides you with a direction to ensure you’re addressing your needs in a holistic way.

We are more important than the quality of our products, equipment, and/or services.

My view of self-care changed a couple of years ago when I was asked to create a couple of simple quality assurance policies and procedures for a major birth center.  As I developed the documents and templates, I heard a little voice say, “you’re putting more effort into managing the level of quality produced by this business than you are into managing the level of quality produced by yourself.”

And that’s when I created My Personal Policy, identified My Personal Procedures, and began assessing My Personal Quality by documenting on My Personal Quality Control logs.

Whether we are women managing our household, working outside of the home, or independently sharing our MomNiche, we tend to put more effort into the systems that break us down than the Divine System that keeps us going.  We are 3-dimensional beings and that’s like managing a corporation.  As Aida Cirino-Lee, Holistic Health Practioner, and one of our Peaceful Women put it, become the CEO of your health


Self-Care doesn’t have to be dramatic

Women tell me all the time, “I don’t have time for myself.”

POTTY TIME could still be considered YOUR TIME.

If I can sit a laboring woman on the toilet to relax her pelvis and release her tension to progress labor, surely us nonpregnant women could benefit from our potty-time.

During college, at work, and throughout motherhood, the restroom has helped me renew my energy, reclaim my sanity and my personal quality. 

Quick Centering Moment:

  1.  Sit (on your sitting bones)
  2.  Plant your feet a little wider than your hips
  3.  Straighten your back
  4.  Rollback and drop your shoulders
  5.  Release and Relax your:
    • °Perineum
    • °Lower abdomen
    • °Shoulders (drop ’em low)
    • °Face (jaw & eyebrows)

Take 5-10 deep breaths.


Women enter into a season of life where they reflect more, ask questions, and envision a new way of life.

They no longer want to conform to the ways of their old world, they desire change. 

This can be exciting and fearful.

The excitement comes by thinking about what will be birthed on the other side.

The fear comes by thinking about the labor to be experienced between the old and new way of life.

Labor is a marathon, not a sprint.

This is why learning how to care for ourselves is so important.

We’re laboring through life ladies.  It’s normal and it will be ok!

CLICK here to see how we can walk together. 

PMDD Awareness

Laboring through life with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) has been my greatest challenge. Crazy to admit after this past months experience, but it’s also been my greatest gift.


  1. Because of this hormonal mood disorder up to two weeks a month I have had the opportunity to taste the pain experienced by my patients and clients who battle depression, anxiety, and extreme physical discomfort on a daily.
  2. I understand that being told to just take a walk, a deep breath, hot bath, think good thought, or sit and visualize yourself happy may not be enough to change your mood, shift your energy, or redirect your thoughts.
  3. This winter was the worst. But my PMDD truly helped me become more self-aware and notice the woman’s Divine connection to Mother Nature and our Universe.

With the fall of each leaf, it felt as though my energy dropped another joule. I experienced heightened symptoms as the climate changed.

I’ve taken note of how easy it is for my inner light to fade with the disappearance of the sun. And it’s become clear that when my cycle links to the moon, that full milky rock causes me to fight harder to bind my werewolf within.


I’m blessed that clouds separate and the sun shines on my face again. Thank God that the moon cycles so that my heart fills with love again.

However, during that window, during that imbalanced hormonal season just after ovulation and until my river of red is in rapid flow, no words seem to have the ability to adequately articulate the way PMDD makes me feel.

To all my sisters fighting just to labor through daily life, before creating a #MyPandemicSurvivalPlan…


If you’d like help replacing unstable emotions, depleted energy, and unwanted experiences with clarity, freedom, and a peaceful mind CLICK here to chat.

Focus on shifting, not the mood



Color helps me!

Any other ideas, PLEASE SHARE!

Women don’t need to hear another story about how painful the literal and hypothetical contractions associated with laboring to birth new life are. ☹

We need to hear what little strategies, tools, and philosophies you’ve found to help you ride those waves.  When we decide to share more “how I made it (working to make) stories”, we begin to live life paying attention to the ways that help and hinder us as we labor through life. 😬

By paying attention, we set out to find new ways. 🥰 Then, just like sharing how much we saved on our last purchase (our sweet deal), we will find ourselves sharing more stories about how we found peace as opposed to how we found stress, pain, tension, and fear. 🌞

It’s ok to be vulnerable and “authentic”…real. No, no one has to be on point, happy, and peaceful all the time. 🤫

But what are you doing about it?

What little things do you to shift your mood, your energy, and peace of mind? – – Start sharing that story. 😊 Share how you were tired and the method you used to refresh yourself. 🤗 Share how things were crazy busy and the strategies you’ve been trying to organize your life.😃

Be vulnerable. Be authentic. You don’t have to show up strong all the time. Because that sets you up to ALWAYS be someone else’s rock, someone else’s solid foundation. 😥 – However, try to find the balance in sharing that you have down days but also share how you lift up your head from the pillow soaked with tears, from the sinking couch cushion. 💃🏿 – Let’s set out to be mirrors that shift the mood of others by learning how to shift the mood of ourselves. 🙏🏿


PAYING ATTENTION to the colors surrounding you can be an act of self-care.

PAYING ATTENTION to how they affect your mood, your energy, can enhance your self-awareness. Little things like a yellow scarf, gold shoes, and colorful nails have really helped me labor through life with a more peaceful mind.

Kiona from Aura Shift has a couple good introduction to color videos. To watch, click here.

Thank you, Amy Craig, for the nail color! Thanks, Sheryl for introducing me to Amy!  Click here to checkout Color Street nail color.

Click here to check out the link to the DIY gel kit my friend recommends.

And don’t forget, if you haven’t already, click here to join Peaceful Women Live to engage with women who are seeking to enhance their evolution of self through intentional conversation.  We meet every 1st Sunday at 4pm EST in our sacred Zoom room.


When I help women create birth plans (to birth babies, new habits, patterns, or ideas), our mission is to outline how she will approach labor and birth.

The first step is to clarify her PHILOSOPHY.

Your Personal Philosophy is your theory or attitude, your guiding principle. It often determines how you will APPROACH or proceed toward in labors of life.

Our philosophy guides how we approach and cross the bridges that lead to our purpose.

For example, in Maternity…

a common Birth Philosophy is “Birth is a normal, natural process that my body was perfectly designed to experience.”

This changes the way natural minded women approach the labor and birth process.

When my philosophy is, “Life is hard.”, it is. This makes me approach each day as an exhausting experience. And I wonder, “why in the world would I have choosen to come here”. That could send me down a spiral.

However, when my philosophy is, “I was created to experience and contribute to this life”, I approach life with wonder, excitement, and possiblity. My experience feels like I’m living in color.



If you’d like help revamping or identifying your current philosophies, click here to schedule a Mental Clarity session.

Who am I?

Well, it depends on the layer you see? 😉

This is another big question. However, the answer can be broken into smaller pieces.

There was a point when I forgot this, as many mothers do. I summed up my identity in a few words, “…mother, wife, professional.”

This Labor Day, my son turned 9 years old. I spent some time reflecting on my growth and my identity shift since he entered my life, honestly since he entered my body. Hence, my absence the past few days.

Now I understand that we can have so many names. Names beyond, “Mom-mom” or “Honey”, even “LeShanta” or, as my family calls me, “Shawn”.

This is important for women to understand prior to adding “mother” to their list.

Created in the image of God (Universe, Source, Creator…) we can be called many things by many people. But it’s very important that we establish a list of names for ourselves.

Maybe you are a visionary, peacemaker, go-getter, change agent…your list can go on.

I’ve read, that we do better at changing our habits when we first decide to adopt a new identity.

You are not your responsibilities or your feelings.

We have many layers, many identities. We have the choice to decide which layer we want to keep or transform.

We just have to be willing to peel back and examine each layer.
Who are you?


I really did try to ignore the pain in my wrist after our accident.

Of all the places I could hurt, “seriously God, might right side?”

Although I still try to push the boundaries of my limited physical capabilities, I must say, I SEE THE BLESSINGS that will continue to bring me peace.

1. My son was able to become more aware that HE CAN do more!
2. I had to allow him to help more!
3. I enhanced my ability to listen to my body!
4. I learned to align to a different flow in common situations!
5. Together, my family (including Rocky) discovered new ways to navigate through our daily lives!
6. If something didn’t work, I was forced to be ok when the situation caused me to course correct !
7. All in all, I’d say, this experience has given me another opportunity to evolve into a higher version of LeShanta!

“Accidents” are sometimes required to shift our state of being for our SOUL EXPANSION.

Labors of life are required to birth our HIGHER SELF.


Do you believe that your past prepared you for your present?

After being a Labor Nurse for almost 12 years, it’s been uncomfortable announcing myself to the world with a different title attached to my name.
But I’ve realized, my almost 20 years in healthcare strengthened my assessment skills for this role.

My season as a Labor and Delivery Nurse, Doula, and Childbirth Educator fine tuned my ability to cope in times of stress. Being a Self Awareness Coach may not have been my past, but my past was designed to prepare me for my present. So often we want to ask the question, how did our past prepares for our future? But we don’t know what our future will bring.

Never, did I think before going to nursing school this would be my present, that I would be here.
And I don’t know what my future will bring. I can only hope. So ask yourself… How has your past prepared you for your present, your right now?

What happens when you realize your story led you to an unexpected path, a new role?
God allowed Jesus to work years as a Carpenter before he was called to mend broken hearts, restore faith, and build a pathway of ascension.

Take the weekend to ask yourself:

1. What title have you been holding on to?
2. What title is God calling you to SURRENDER to?
(Note: It could change again 😉)

Join Peaceful Women Live this Sunday, June 2nd at 4 pm EST.

Click here to register!

The benefit of tilting your chin towards the sun

IT HELPS TO HAVE A DOG…and no backyard.

In the past, I’ve had pups. But the comfort of a backyard made it way to easy for me to just send them out the sliding glass door.

But with my dear Rocky and our lifestyle the past 2 years, I’m forced to go out doors. Rain or snow, we walk our paths.

I’ve learned to be soooooooo grateful for sunny days. Growing up in Florida, living in Denver, Colorado; Sunnyside/Zillah Washington; and road tripping through Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and onward to the east coast was food for my soul.

I made a habit awhile ago of tilting my chin towards the sun whenever I enter into it’s obvious presence.

The sun lifts me when I feel down and warms me inside and out. But most of all, it reminds me that it’s always there to give me that comfort when I seek it.

Even when I don’t see it, for example, our winter in Seattle, Washington, it was still there. But there are times when the other elements of life try to hide and shield it’s light.

However, I’m grateful that despite being hidden, The Sun (The Son) never forgets it’s calling. When the clouds and forces of life move aside, it’s still there, shining bright like…”Yeah, YOU SEE ME”. 🌄

My hearts desire is to never forget my calling. My motive, is that I believe we all are called to mimic the peace brought by the Sun. My intention, is to remain in a state of being (out of my mind & body) where I can always hear my soul’s instructions. For I know that the ulterior motive of my soul will always be TO BECOME THE SUN not the cloud.